@DragonKing: Creative passion is fickle. It comes and goes as it wants, no matter how much we want and need it to stay. Sometimes it's just not there, and depression and despair has a way of draining it away. It's always difficult to make progress with depression weighing you down, especially when the work is creative. Even if you are doing good work, it can seem like garbage simply because everything seems like garbage.
I know you've been feeling discouraged--I'd probably shrivel up and die if that Patreon artist said the same to me--but I hope that it passes soon. I wish I knew how to make depressions go away (if I did, I'd be a billionaire). All I know is that they eventually let go.
I remember a line from Game of Thrones: "Every winter that has come has ended." And as Jaheira has said, "Like all good advice, that was absolutely no help at all."
I wish I had some useful advice. Just know that we support you and want you to feel well again.
The thing with depressions - if you're in them, you think they never go away, but they do. The other thing with depressions though - mental illnesses know no cure, recovery is learning to deal with it. I.e. depressions do return, you just get better with dealing with it as you get older. Hopefully. I agree with that lovely girlskunk @typo_tilly though, you shouldn't compare yourself with others. Doing things while depressed is top sport and you should feel proud of achieving things while being depressed. I compliment myself for getting out of bed, for washing myself, it needn't be great things in the eyes of others, if it's a big thing to accomplish for yourself.
Mental illnesses do have cures, or at least treatments. The illnesses are genetic, but medication can fix many of them. It's just that psychiatrists can be expensive and it tends to take months to figure out what the right medication is.
Depression is the "least genetic" of all the mental illnesses that i know of. For everyone who has depression, seeing a qualified, real and experienced, psychotherapist is a good idea that may lead to a great outcome.
Mental illnesses do have cures, or at least treatments. The illnesses are genetic, but medication can fix many of them. It's just that psychiatrists can be expensive and it tends to take months to figure out what the right medication is.
There's a difference between 'cure' and 'treatment'. Anti-depressants and anti-psychotics dampen the effects of mental illnesses, they don't take the illness away. If they would, I could be done with taking them for a single period back in 1996 instead of needing to take them daily to maintain stable up to 2018 and beyond.
Depression is the "least genetic" of all the mental illnesses that i know of. For everyone who has depression, seeing a qualified, real and experienced, psychotherapist is a good idea that may lead to a great outcome.
Or the by-product of another more persistent diagnosis. A friend of mine had a depression some years ago and he had just a depression. He wasn't mentally ill, he had a depression, had psycho-therapy, no medication and got cured. He's healthy and stable now, not mentally ill, at least not in the certainty that you could call me mentally ill. Sorry for posting a bleak picture of depression in my above post, I had forgotten about the kind of depression @bob_veng 's talking about, the possibility that it's an episode without an underlying malfunctioning brain.
Really bummed about Shandyr's banning. There have been bans before that I didn't enjoy, but this one HURTS. I lost a friend today. To make matters worse, the mod I contacted to find out what happened (I never noticed any rule breaking personally) is being vague.
Yeah, but in general, even with a clinical, major, depression, having a good period of psychotherapy can be very good, because it can help people set goals and stay focused on them and be more satisfied with their daily lives and daily achievements which wards off feelings of depression.
Yeah, but in general, even with a clinical, major, depression, having a good period of psychotherapy can be very good, because it can help people set goals and stay focused on them and be more satisfied with their daily lives and daily achievements which wards off feelings of depression.
I've always been dissatisfied with mental healthcare being so hesitant with psychotherapy for mentally ill people. With almost 30 years in mental healthcare, I never have gotten any thorough psychotherapy.
We're still learning so much about depression/ anxiety - there are no absolutes at the moment. Some things work better for some people and new ways of therapy and medication are being put together as we speak.
I can only speak from my own personal experiences and a lot of research, but I've found there is a cure. I believe medication can be important when the depression is severe, but I haven't seen any cases of medication alone curing a patient. Therapy I believe works best. It's difficult (but not impossible) to replicate therapy with a friend or family, but essentially you need someone who listens, without any judgement, and helps you work out the underlying causes of why you perceive things the way you do. A lot of people instantly think the cause is something like "lost job" or "someone died" etc. - but those are triggers, not causes, the causes are much more underlying from childhood, built up over years and years.
In my experience depression, or rather the cure of it, was a very positive thing, like an "awakening" and I enjoy life a thousand times more now, than before I had depression.
Yeah, but in general, even with a clinical, major, depression, having a good period of psychotherapy can be very good, because it can help people set goals and stay focused on them and be more satisfied with their daily lives and daily achievements which wards off feelings of depression.
I've always been dissatisfied with mental healthcare being so hesitant with psychotherapy for mentally ill people. With almost 30 years in mental healthcare, I never have gotten any thorough psychotherapy.
it's relatively very expensive because it takes a lot of hours of 1on1 work by a highly trained professional. that's why reasons are made up why it's not adequate for serious conditions, but it's only common sense that everyone can benefit from it, and some more than others.
I'm sorry that you are reading my complains right now, but I feel I need to get it out of my system.
I hate employment bureaus. You're treated there as a cattle at best, at worst as untrustworthy con artist. They never povided me any assistance - for example, my internship I had was due to connections, rather than bureau. And now I was denied assistance that for once could be useful.
Namely, I was denied about 8000 PLN to start fresh in city of Wroclaw - and that after I have been assure that I had 99% of getting that ammount of money. I needed that money for multiple things - aside from rent and the like, I hoped to: 1. invest in my own skills by taking part in various courses, 2. buy myself a new PC since my current one is barely functioning and if I ever wanted to work from home on digital art, I would need something better than my current machine. 3. Buy some clothes and the like, since I lost a lot of weight in several last months and considerable ammount of clothes I have are too big. 4. Save the rest for later. All of which while I actually work in the city I hoped to work in.
I can't do anything of the above. What I can do is to find a basic work that would pay me minimal ammount of money legally possible in my excuse of a country and then save money for several months just to have a possibility of take a course or two.
The kicker is - why I was refused those money? Because I happened to already "used their assistance" - namely the internship I mentioned at the beginning. The Intenrship I got thanks to connections! The internship that I only decided to took because I had no alternatives. The internship that is in no shape or form, helpling me in finding a job in area I'm actually want to work in.
Let's sum up my life. Majority of school time was useless. Studying in itself without practical experience is useless. This internship was useless. Of course for majority of my life I was a moron, so I spend way too much time on videogames instead doing something constructive with my life. Had I spend only as much as quarter of my gaming time on somehting useful, I believe my life would be much better now.
So fuck me, fuck my life and fuck the employment bureaus and their non-existent help.
The only uplifting thing about it that if I manage to overcome all of this, I could actually become better at a certain job I want to try in the future.
@O_Bruce Well, don't hate on your gaming habit too much at least. I worked by butt off to keep a perfect 4.0 thourought school, entered specialty classes, went to higher standards schools, etc. and it got me absolutely nothing.
The only uplifting thing about it that if I manage to overcome all of this, I could actually become better at a certain job I want to try in the future.
The key is to keep working! Don't give up, skeleton!
Hard work doesn't always translate into money unless the work is directly relevant to the job in question. I have lots of skills that I seldom use.
Thing is, the solution is the same: keep learning and keep getting experience and training. Just switch to a new type of skill if the old ones aren't getting you anywhere you want to go.
@O_Bruce: There may be non-government employment resources available, depending on where you live. The government bureau might be under pressure to keep costs low (there's an anti-government philosophy that opposes the very premise of employment bureaus and seeks to keep them funded as little as possible), but there are at least some non-profits with the same mission. The homeless shelter where I used to work provides job training resources, and many colleges have career centers to give advice and guidance to current students and graduates.
Reaching out to family and friends, even those you aren't very close with, could also be helpful. I've found that other people are an invaluable source of new ideas.
@O_Bruce Well, don't hate on your gaming habit too much at least. I worked by butt off to keep a perfect 4.0 thourought school, entered specialty classes, went to higher standards schools, etc. and it got me absolutely nothing.
Hence I said "Studying in itself without practical experience is useless." And I have a valid reason to regret my gaming habits. Imagine if with 1000 hours of gaming, I would choose to invest 250 into either learning more about art or learning new skills either on coursers, internships or the like. I would be definitely better artist by now, but also a more well-rounded invidual. And all that with really modest estimation, since I am convinced I spend more than 1000 hours on Baldur's Gate alone, not counting other games. So yeah, in a retrospect I think it was crippling, massive waste of time that has not awarded me anything practical.
There may be non-government employment resources available, depending on where you live. The government bureau might be under pressure to keep costs low (there's an anti-government philosophy that opposes the very premise of employment bureaus and seeks to keep them funded as little as possible), but there are at least some non-profits with the same mission. The homeless shelter where I used to work provides job training resources, and many colleges have career centers to give advice and guidance to current students and graduates.
I know that founding was not the issue. My mother is working as commune treashurer and she got information about finances directly from accountant working at the employment bureau. There was no issues with finances, hence I recieved a feedback that I am practically guaranteed to get the money and that "It would be stupid of me to request less than 8000 PLN". But then reality happened, shattering my plans to make fresh start.
Reaching out to family and friends, even those you aren't very close with, could also be helpful. I've found that other people are an invaluable source of new ideas.
I don't think I can count on people who aren't very close to me. Nobody besides my close family and few friends cares about me, if my experiences with them are anything to go by.
@O_Bruce: I don't think you can expect more distant friends to stick out their necks for you or work hard to help you, but they may still have useful information. Talk is cheap, and I've heard that people are more likely to find work by reaching out to more distant friends than close family (casting a wider net, so to speak).
Either way, good luck. I hope you make more progress now that you're changing direction.
When I had my near-death experience my thought was not "I wish I had done more soulless mind-numbing labor" but rather that I had played more games and snuggled my wife more.
Let's sum up my life. Majority of school time was useless. Studying in itself without practical experience is useless. This internship was useless. Of course for majority of my life I was a moron, so I spend way too much time on videogames instead doing something constructive with my life. Had I spend only as much as quarter of my gaming time on somehting useful, I believe my life would be much better now.
None of those things are inherently bad.
School teaches you valuable skillsets and gives you the opportunity to network.
Internships can open doors.
And play is massively important to our mental health, acuity, imagination, and our problem-solving skills.
Regret will not give you that time back or retroactively change any of those decisions. It will only lead to suffering. The question you need to be asking yourself is "How do I make these skills and experiences work for me" because those are the cards in your hand and that's what you have to work with.
And if tireless hard work does dominate the future landscape then that makes play even more important because play is what helps to keep you sane. The more grueling and miserable the work is the more I try to inspire play in myself and others because laughing while doing miserable things is preferable to being miserable while doing miserable things.
First of all, define "play", because I don't think you are speaking about the same thing as I did. I was speaking mostly about spending too much time on videogames (I repeat: too much, as the implication it playing in moderation is okay), while you are using the word "play" to fit whatever you are saying at the moment and that makes our communication ineffective and more difficult that it should be in the first place.
Second, the school and education system in most modern countries in general, is outdated, does a bad job at preparing people for the job market, does not teach how to think, how to acquire useful knowledge. Does not teach ctritical thinking, does not attempt to get students interested in their fields of choice and does not nurish their good sides. This is a old system designed to prepare obedient production workers. Most of things I learned at school is either forgotten or not useful in my life - I wish it was otherwise, but those are facts.
My internship did not give me an experience in field I want to work with - in fact, I mentioned I took the internship only because there was no alternatives. After all, little bit of experience is better than nothing? Turns out, no. It doesn't help me find a new job and it prevented me from getting money from employment bureau. Money I could use to take part in some courses and thus get some skills and experience I would actually need. So what my internship did was just screwing me over. So yes, it is not only useless but also actively harmful.
And sorry, I'm in too negative mood to watch that clip. I can't watch it more than half and minute without cringing.
Games are great, but careers need to come first. They might not be the purpose of life, but they're a prerequisite for living.
@O_Bruce: Good luck on your efforts to advance your career. When you're a little more financially secure, maybe you can dedicate more leisure time to enjoying the life you've built. It will take time and effort to get back on your feet, but take heart that it will pay off in the end.
It was something my mother used to sing when we were so poor we had to steal food from the farmers field next door and collect rain water to drink. We had left my abusive father and went to scotland and could only afford to buy a derelict thrashing mill. We lived for 3 years without running water or electricity. But we had this old black and white TV that my mother would hook the car battery up to every now and then so I could play my old nes for an hour.
That brief time meant so much to me.
But I can see without having that emotional context it could be a bit cringy.
It was something my mother used to sing when we were so poor we had to steal food from the farmers field next door and collect rain water to drink. We had left my abusive father and went to scotland and could only afford to buy a derelict thrashing mill. We lived for 3 years without running water or electricity. But we had this old black and white TV that my mother would hook the car battery up to every now and then so I could play my old nes for an hour.
That brief time meant so much to me.
But I can see without having that emotional context it could be a bit cringy.
It was something my mother used to sing when we were so poor we had to steal food from the farmers field next door and collect rain water to drink. We had left my abusive father and went to scotland and could only afford to buy a derelict thrashing mill. We lived for 3 years without running water or electricity. But we had this old black and white TV that my mother would hook the car battery up to every now and then so I could play my old nes for an hour.
If that's where you come from, then I'm sorry for even bringing up my "problems" here. They have nothing on this.
She is an amazing person who gave me the strength to survive.
In '97 I was suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness and my father convinced me that he had cleaned up and that I should start a new life with him in America. Things were good for about 6 months but he never filed any of my immergration paperwork so that I would be dependant on him.
I eventually walked out and found sessional work performing at Ren Fairs. I would live in a tent in the woods for 7 months out of the year and then crash on peoples floors (or sometimes on the street) until the season picked up again. It was hard finding work without a green card and I got taken advantage of a lot. I would work 12 hour shifts in resturants for $3 an hour but I was thankful just to be able to eat.
I met my wife while I was staying at an informal halfway house.
We bonded over music and video games, she gave me a place to live, got me a green card, supported me through years of therapy, and most importantly gave me a family.
Now I have returned to college with the goal of teaching so that I can give others from my economic background the opportunity to escape the burden of poverty without having to take my journey.
I have never known privilege, but I have known kindness. And I want you to know @O_Bruce that was the only spirit my advice was meant in.
Comments
I know you've been feeling discouraged--I'd probably shrivel up and die if that Patreon artist said the same to me--but I hope that it passes soon. I wish I knew how to make depressions go away (if I did, I'd be a billionaire). All I know is that they eventually let go.
I remember a line from Game of Thrones: "Every winter that has come has ended." And as Jaheira has said, "Like all good advice, that was absolutely no help at all."
I wish I had some useful advice. Just know that we support you and want you to feel well again.
I can only speak from my own personal experiences and a lot of research, but I've found there is a cure. I believe medication can be important when the depression is severe, but I haven't seen any cases of medication alone curing a patient. Therapy I believe works best. It's difficult (but not impossible) to replicate therapy with a friend or family, but essentially you need someone who listens, without any judgement, and helps you work out the underlying causes of why you perceive things the way you do. A lot of people instantly think the cause is something like "lost job" or "someone died" etc. - but those are triggers, not causes, the causes are much more underlying from childhood, built up over years and years.
In my experience depression, or rather the cure of it, was a very positive thing, like an "awakening" and I enjoy life a thousand times more now, than before I had depression.
I hate employment bureaus. You're treated there as a cattle at best, at worst as untrustworthy con artist. They never povided me any assistance - for example, my internship I had was due to connections, rather than bureau. And now I was denied assistance that for once could be useful.
Namely, I was denied about 8000 PLN to start fresh in city of Wroclaw - and that after I have been assure that I had 99% of getting that ammount of money. I needed that money for multiple things - aside from rent and the like, I hoped to: 1. invest in my own skills by taking part in various courses, 2. buy myself a new PC since my current one is barely functioning and if I ever wanted to work from home on digital art, I would need something better than my current machine. 3. Buy some clothes and the like, since I lost a lot of weight in several last months and considerable ammount of clothes I have are too big. 4. Save the rest for later. All of which while I actually work in the city I hoped to work in.
I can't do anything of the above. What I can do is to find a basic work that would pay me minimal ammount of money legally possible in my excuse of a country and then save money for several months just to have a possibility of take a course or two.
The kicker is - why I was refused those money? Because I happened to already "used their assistance" - namely the internship I mentioned at the beginning. The Intenrship I got thanks to connections! The internship that I only decided to took because I had no alternatives. The internship that is in no shape or form, helpling me in finding a job in area I'm actually want to work in.
Let's sum up my life. Majority of school time was useless. Studying in itself without practical experience is useless. This internship was useless. Of course for majority of my life I was a moron, so I spend way too much time on videogames instead doing something constructive with my life. Had I spend only as much as quarter of my gaming time on somehting useful, I believe my life would be much better now.
So fuck me, fuck my life and fuck the employment bureaus and their non-existent help.
The only uplifting thing about it that if I manage to overcome all of this, I could actually become better at a certain job I want to try in the future.
Thing is, the solution is the same: keep learning and keep getting experience and training. Just switch to a new type of skill if the old ones aren't getting you anywhere you want to go.
@O_Bruce: There may be non-government employment resources available, depending on where you live. The government bureau might be under pressure to keep costs low (there's an anti-government philosophy that opposes the very premise of employment bureaus and seeks to keep them funded as little as possible), but there are at least some non-profits with the same mission. The homeless shelter where I used to work provides job training resources, and many colleges have career centers to give advice and guidance to current students and graduates.
Reaching out to family and friends, even those you aren't very close with, could also be helpful. I've found that other people are an invaluable source of new ideas.
Either way, good luck. I hope you make more progress now that you're changing direction.
Also jokes on you, I don't have a wife.
Are you sure "play more games" is not the answer to both problems?
School teaches you valuable skillsets and gives you the opportunity to network.
Internships can open doors.
And play is massively important to our mental health, acuity, imagination, and our problem-solving skills.
Regret will not give you that time back or retroactively change any of those decisions. It will only lead to suffering. The question you need to be asking yourself is "How do I make these skills and experiences work for me" because those are the cards in your hand and that's what you have to work with.
And if tireless hard work does dominate the future landscape then that makes play even more important because play is what helps to keep you sane. The more grueling and miserable the work is the more I try to inspire play in myself and others because laughing while doing miserable things is preferable to being miserable while doing miserable things.
First of all, define "play", because I don't think you are speaking about the same thing as I did. I was speaking mostly about spending too much time on videogames (I repeat: too much, as the implication it playing in moderation is okay), while you are using the word "play" to fit whatever you are saying at the moment and that makes our communication ineffective and more difficult that it should be in the first place.
Second, the school and education system in most modern countries in general, is outdated, does a bad job at preparing people for the job market, does not teach how to think, how to acquire useful knowledge. Does not teach ctritical thinking, does not attempt to get students interested in their fields of choice and does not nurish their good sides. This is a old system designed to prepare obedient production workers. Most of things I learned at school is either forgotten or not useful in my life - I wish it was otherwise, but those are facts.
My internship did not give me an experience in field I want to work with - in fact, I mentioned I took the internship only because there was no alternatives. After all, little bit of experience is better than nothing? Turns out, no. It doesn't help me find a new job and it prevented me from getting money from employment bureau. Money I could use to take part in some courses and thus get some skills and experience I would actually need. So what my internship did was just screwing me over. So yes, it is not only useless but also actively harmful.
And sorry, I'm in too negative mood to watch that clip. I can't watch it more than half and minute without cringing.
@O_Bruce: Good luck on your efforts to advance your career. When you're a little more financially secure, maybe you can dedicate more leisure time to enjoying the life you've built. It will take time and effort to get back on your feet, but take heart that it will pay off in the end.
That brief time meant so much to me.
But I can see without having that emotional context it could be a bit cringy.
All the best @O_Bruce, we believe in you!
Your mother is a saint. I wish both her and you all the happiness in the world.
Sorry and thank you.
In '97 I was suffering from an undiagnosed mental illness and my father convinced me that he had cleaned up and that I should start a new life with him in America. Things were good for about 6 months but he never filed any of my immergration paperwork so that I would be dependant on him.
I eventually walked out and found sessional work performing at Ren Fairs. I would live in a tent in the woods for 7 months out of the year and then crash on peoples floors (or sometimes on the street) until the season picked up again. It was hard finding work without a green card and I got taken advantage of a lot. I would work 12 hour shifts in resturants for $3 an hour but I was thankful just to be able to eat.
I met my wife while I was staying at an informal halfway house.
We bonded over music and video games, she gave me a place to live, got me a green card, supported me through years of therapy, and most importantly gave me a family.
Now I have returned to college with the goal of teaching so that I can give others from my economic background the opportunity to escape the burden of poverty without having to take my journey.
I have never known privilege, but I have known kindness. And I want you to know @O_Bruce that was the only spirit my advice was meant in.
All the best.