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The topic for unhappiness/vent your sorrow

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  • CahirCahir Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 2,143
    @semiticgod I'm sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, tough. Last year we had to put my in-laws' dog to sleep and I was there to bury her in the woods. When my first dog died in '05 I wasn't at home (I was at dorm at the time, actually), but when I got back just looking at my mother's face was enough to tell me something went horribly wrong. Now, my parents' second dog is 11 years old and although he seems in good health, I'm slowly starting to prepare the time may come that he will be missed too...

    semiticgodmlneveseJuliusBorisov
  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 9,771
    My feelings as well. We had to do that two years ago. My wife still cries on his birthdays...

    semiticgodRavenslightJuliusBorisov
  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,769
    When I was in my teens, the dog we'd had since I was a kid went out one day and never came back. She was pushing 15 and we were already talking about having to put her down, but she took it out of our hands. We lived on 25 acres with swamps and woodlots all around, so we never did find her body. I still have one of her tags on my keychain.

    semiticgodmlneveseRavenslightJuliusBorisov
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.

    JuliusBorisovmlneveseRelSundan
  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 9,771
    Have you ever tried talking to him about how you feel? I'm always surprised about how a simple talk may help solve things in a relationship.

    JuliusBorisov[Deleted User]RelSundan
  • RelSundanRelSundan Member Posts: 917
    Like all the other people said, talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Is he at all aware that you know about it?

    Talk, talk, talk.

    [Deleted User]JuliusBorisovCrevsDaak
  • SanctiferSanctifer Member Posts: 94
    edited December 2016
    Well, first of all, thank you

    I could have been more specific actually, he and I talked already, months ago, I don't really wanna go all over it again, but we've been together three years, and I believe now he hasn't been faithful more than a year. T_T

    At the very beginning we were in a long distance relationship, I found out he was cheating on me, got mad, we talked, we made things clear and sorted it out (or i thought we did), i forgave him (because of the long distance, because it was the beginning, etc.), i eventually came to trust him again, slowly, when we finally moved in together, when things between us became cool again (intimacy, sex, happiness, etc.)

    But then this summer I found out by accident (and it really was an accident, cause at that point i was over the shenanigans of "checking his phone and facebook account when he wasn't looking" ypu know^^) that he had been cheating again.
    I confronted him immediately, we talked but that wasn't... I got no satisfaction out of it, because he had no real explanation you know. I told him how mad I was, how rejected i was feeling, he told me he was sorry, blablabla, that he would end the "affair" but... But I could sense something was off. The very next week i found out that his way of ending it was -not sure how to say that in english, but you know, "goodbye sex".
    I stopped talking to him completely, for days.
    Things got better eventually, but dialogue is so frustrating. He can't tell me why he does this, the reason.
    Maybe it's stupid but if it's just that he has no desire for me, i can hear it. It's what I believe anyway. But he won't tell me that, he won't give me any reason, he will just apologize, cry, do nice things and make me fall in love again.
    Gosh i'm so dumb.

    I just can't trust him anymore. And I recently found out that the "affair" started like almost a year ago. All that time he was lying.
    And now I think of all the things I could not know about. Cause, every time I confront him, it's an opportunity for him to get better at "covering tracks" and it just drives me crazy

    But not knowing why is the worst.
    And maybe I stay with him for this very reason, I wanna know why.



    @Shandyr
    Yeah, open relationship. That's not for me.
    It's not a moral thing, actually, I don't really care, I really believe a lot of people are truly happy that way.
    But I don't have that level of self-confidence.
    I would just feel rejected all the time. Because I don't really want to have sex with other people, I'm with him, I enjoy that, I don't feel the need because what my partner gives me is what I want.
    So to me, it just really means that I'm not what he wants.
    I'm not enough.
    That sucks.


    So well, yeah, maybe i'm just "gathering my strength" (i'm pretty sure that doesn't exist in english, sorry ^^) for the breakup.
    I don't feel like I'm wasting years anyway, when the time is right, it's right.

    But lately I've been feeling really sad

    JuliusBorisov[Deleted User]semiticgodNonnahswriter
  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 9,771
    edited December 2016
    I've been there as well. Felt like hell. Lost all hope of ever meeting someone. Met my wife. Knew she was The One. 20 years later she is still The One.

    In other words, do not lose hope. The right person may be just around the corner. :)

    Post edited by mlnevese on
    RelSundan[Deleted User]JuliusBorisovTroodon80
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.

    semiticgodTroodon80
  • SanctiferSanctifer Member Posts: 94
    Well, that was... enlightening. Thx

  • DragonKingDragonKing Member Posts: 1,733
    I have 3 more semesters until I graduate with my bachelor's of fine arts drawing and painting degree, a large debt around my neck, nothing financially rewarding lined you, no clue where to go with my life from here, and oh, I might not be able to afford my next freaking semester of class!

    I hate this world so much.

    JuliusBorisovRelSundanCrevsDaakwubble
  • TStaelTStael Member Posts: 861
    I am sorta over it, but I just cannot shake the ill sentiment upon my soul of Imatra shooting back home in Finland the last weekend.

    Stranger violence is such an abnormality already. (While drunken violence is almost banal, but generally it happens between pals of some level)

    Shooting three women at that is quite extraordinary.

    Naïve or not, it is at such moments that having harsh value president and prime minister feels so wrong. I've made no secret of my admiration of Joachim Gauck, but he is at least a proper father of nation.

    My fellow Finns meanwhile uplift me. The question rather is how this insane lack of empathy could pass, not random vengefulness.

    JuliusBorisovTroodon80Buttercheese
  • chimaerachimaera Member Posts: 997
    Sanctifer said:



    I just can't trust him anymore. And I recently found out that the "affair" started like almost a year ago. All that time he was lying.
    And now I think of all the things I could not know about. Cause, every time I confront him, it's an opportunity for him to get better at "covering tracks" and it just drives me crazy

    But not knowing why is the worst.
    And maybe I stay with him for this very reason, I wanna know why.

    Because living in a toxic relationship is a bit like being in survival mode. What is obvious for people on the outside ("he is a serial cheater", "he treats you bad", "you deserve better"), isn't as easy to see when you are the one involved. You boyfriend knows why he cheats, just as he knows that by not telling you he makes it worse for you. Emotionally abusive people like to play all those little games that undermine your confidence and self-esteem, make you doubt yourself and the validity of your emotions.

    You don't sound like a "cliché of a victim" to me, but like someone who has been in an unhealthy relationship for too long. But here is the thing: your boyfriend is not going to change - toxic people never do.

    Sanctifer
  • O_BruceO_Bruce Member Posts: 2,761
    @Buttercheese
    I can understand you quite well on those matters. For all of it, I wish Europe... no, I wish civilized people to get a grip, because I fear to think what is going to happen if things will continue to go as they currently are.

    ButtercheesemlneveseJuliusBorisov
  • Troodon80Troodon80 Member, Developer Posts: 4,110
    I can definitely sympathise with you, @Buttercheese. So far as Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and the multitude of other social media sites and the... uh... unique personalities that inhabit them... I think Stephen Fry sums it up quite eloquently.

    ButtercheesemlneveseJuliusBorisov
  • AyiekieAyiekie Member Posts: 909
    I am so beyond goddamn effing tired of having to defend effing Donald Trump.

    I won't compare that to the problems other people are having in the thread, but I wanted to say it somewhere. :(

    semiticgod
  • semiticgodsemiticgod Member, Moderator Posts: 14,094
    @Ayiekie: I have the same problem. For as long as I can remember in the politics thread, I've found myself defending Trump more often than criticizing him.

  • FinneousPJFinneousPJ Member Posts: 6,456
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